NO REGRETS
Mother always told me to pray. She said prayers brought benefits and created miracles. Yes, mother was always right. A small prayer always made a large difference. What started as a small prayer, developed into devotion which paved way to doing good deeds and well-being. There were times, I prayed to the lord with numerous demands for him to take care off. He’s also been compassionate in fulfilling most of it for me. After a long time I realised this kind of business deals weren’t acceptable. My conscious didn’t permit, may be because devotion and love to god started blooming sincerely in my soul. I stopped asking for anything, but never stopped praying.
I have experienced his miracles and love within a short period of time. I felt contented and blessed. This intricate relationship I share with god is very complex to explain. It is with Lord Krishna I share a very amicable relationship. I can relate to him, often argue with him, fight with him, love him like my own child, and get back to him with a million sorry. He knows what is right for me. Some thoughts have become actions without my knowledge and many good deeds have come back at the most unexpected moments. It is with Krishna I have seen the greatest quality of a creator- Dhaya (compassion).
Most of the prayer songs are written for the betterment of humankind. But there’s always a small request made, which may be “save me”, “protect me”,” give me money”, “give me food”, “keep me happy”, so on and so forth. Yes, all are basic essentials, which we can’t sustain without, but how humble are we to give back what he gives us?
“Kurai onrum illai”-“I have no displeasures/regrets in life”. A beautiful Tamil composition briskly caught my attention. In none of the verses does the poet ask God for a favour, he instead informs him that he has no vows to fulfil. Such is the amount of devotion he carries towards the lord. When Chakravarthy Rajagopalachari (Rajaji) wrote this poem what imposed such thoughts on his mind?
In the year 1925, the Magistrate bench filed a case against a devotee who entered the premises of Thiruchanoor temple. During the times when the lower caste wasn’t considered to enter the temple premises, the devotee out of his strong affection to see the God from near entered the premises. He satisfied his needs all these many years with breaking a coconut outside the premises. Due to the elaborate crowd movement and the devotion filled air, he found a way into the temple. The case was fought on his side by Rajaji. The man with a brilliant intellect and the one behind the right wing constellation around Gandhiji. He was elected as the chief minister of the Madras state and the first Governor General of India. He was also the recipient of India’s highest civilian award, the Bharath Ratna. With such humongous political career, and the probabilities of facing many reactions, none of which still didn’t come in his way of fighting out the case.
The composition was formulated by Smt MS Subbalakshmi and Sri Kalyanallur Venkatraman into a triangulated compound of ragas, Kapi, Sindhu Bhairavi and Shivaranjani. This composition sets out to explain the poet’s ravelled relationship with the Lord.
Kurai onrum illai maraimurthi kanna… kurai onrum illai kanna… kurai onrum illai govinda… Oh Krishna oh govinda oh Devaki nandana, the supreme personality of creation, I carry no regrets in life. You adore the seven hills, the Thirumala offering the best blessing on every human kind that comes to serve you. I know very well that you are watching out at every earthling existing on this planet and wishing them well-being. When I know you exist in my very sight, I understand very well that it is through you I can see everything in detail. When I speak I understand it’s you who exists on my tongue, when I hear I know it’s through your mercy, when you exist in all the five senses guiding me, what regrets can I carry?
The poet stresses that, I am not as learned as the great sages to know you in depth, neither am I a scholar of great heights to understand fully well about the science of your existence, yet I don’t wish to know since I am enough convinced that you exist in me and in everyone and hence carry no regrets in life.
Though I know you stand where I behold you not decorated with sparkling gems on the Venkata hills, meeting my hope, my hunger and thirst, I behold not any regret in life. Oh lord of the seven hills, you have no friend nor any enemy in us, you keep us all away from harm’s way, what else can I seek from you, the father of seven hills, except having no regrets in life. In your abode of Vaikunta where there is no existence for caste, creed and religion and with this existing in the society even today, you still descended in Kali Yuga on the planet in the form of a granite shaft beautifying the seven hills of Thirumala meeting everyone’s demands. Even though I cannot see you in your real form, I still carry no complaints.
Your consort, Maha Lakshmi, Vishnu patni prasannakshi, the body of compassion, my very dear mother melts to her devotees cry and is ever ready to fulfil every wish asked for. No matter what, when I have the two of you as my father and mother always ready to protect me, I carry no regrets in life, Oh Govinda, oh Govinda, oh Govinda.
This Tamil composition rendered by Rajaji still haunts me with thoughts of how a man with such stature and calibre compose a poem with such mature words. He had his battles to face in life, he has had his loses, he carried mountains of responsibilities and tons of worries, yet he could convince God that he carried no complaints in his life since he understood fully well he existed only to protect him from any harm that would befall.
A man of such stature, could have possibly feared to fight the case owing to his position in politics. He even mentions of it in his letter to his son-in law Devdas Gandhi that even though he might have a bitter future in politics due to this, he still didn’t care to get back to the court to fight the case.
The composition which holds the highest place in my heart, provoked me to write in brief about it. Even though it carries more in-depth a meaning, I finish my lines with, I cannot experience “your” complete manifestation, Oh lord I am happy, that you’re watching and protecting me and so I don’t carry any regrets.
Kurai ōndrum illai, Maraimūrthi kanna!
kurai ōndrum illai, Kanna!
kurai ōndrum illai, Gōvinda!
A small literary dedication of my understanding of the great poem to the man of stature Chakravarthi Rajagopalachari (Rajaji).
Extended detail: This composition was also used in a Tamil film Mudal Mudal Mudal Varai, an international award winning film directed by Krishna Seshadri Gomatham assisted by music director Aslam Mustafa and sung by Ms Jaya.
